What does my stroke feel like?

People who see me say, "you do look well" and similar.  I have then to explain how I feel on the inside.

Outwardly I do look pretty good: I have put back lost weight, got colour back in my cheeks and am looking more and more like my "old" self.  Inside it is (still) a very different story. The best way to describe how I feel is by saying I feel wobbly all the time when walking - like I have had 8 pints of beer -  always giddy and unsteady when on the move. Any physical exertion, like a tiny bit of gardening, leaves me shattered and in need of a sit-down and rest. I also feel near constant, low level nausea in my stomach and gut.

Overall, I AM making progress but this is too slow!  I desperately want to be "normal" again . At present, it seems 3 steps forwards and 2 backwards. I should be off  the stomach liquid feed by June/July and already the amount through the peg is vastly reduced compared with when I first came out of hospital. I think my giddiness and sickness/nausea are slowly improving.

So, I may look OK but inside I still feel rough at the moment. Normality is a way off yet still, sadly. Thankfully I sleep very deeply: when I drop off it is (usually) a long and good quality sleep. Sleep is the only time in the day I feel OK. The rest of the time is still a struggle.

Anonymity in sex cases?

With many people accused of sex charges recently being acquitted, is it not time to grant those accused of sex charges anonymity until proven guilty? In English law a person is innocent until tried and found guilty but the press coverage of many recent trials makes a nonsense of this. What is worst, mud sticks. Even if found not-guilty the harm to reputation as a result of the early sensationalist press and TV coverage is extreme.   This coverage is usually sensationalist in nature.  If found guilty the accused will usually have to serve time in prison i.e. they have to pay back to society.

As an example, Ralph Harris is already being judged guilty even though his trial has only just started. If he is acquitted, the bad press will still be there to haunt him.  This serves no good.  See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27340134 .

Personally, I think both sides in sex trials should be granted anonymity. To do otherwise is grossly unfair on those accused and then often found not guilty. A non-guilty verdict should leave the accused able to walk free with head held high, not to be forever in fear of the press baying for yet more blood.  When the accused is guilty the sentence is the punishment.

I am all for justice, but let us have justice for all. To judge a person guilty before a trial has ended and all the evidence has been heard is totally wrong.

Salcombe, Devon - how to destroy it

In the last few years, Salcombe is being taken over by rich bankers and the like with silly money and very small brains. Homes and flats are being sold for millions, hotels are being converted into penthouse suites, and now the Tides Reach Hotel at South Sands is being redeveloped at a cost of £12M as a boutique hotel for yet more of the stinking rich. It makes me sick.

Salcombe and harbour from Snapes Point

At one time, Salcombe was a pleasant seaside town enjoyed by many. Now it is becoming the holiday home from home (for a few weeks a year) of the rich and famous and a ghost town out of season. It cannot go on: the locals can no longer afford to live in the town. In 20 years tradespeople will ALL live out of Salcombe.

It really saddens me to see how my hometown is changing.

Wet (at home) day

This morning I had a 1 hour visit from the speech therapist because of my stroke. This was uneventful. This was followed by a visit from an old work colleague, Ted Williams. We talked radios most of the time.

After Ted went home we had lunch which was more important than usual: my dietician has advised me to reduce my liquid feed (via Peg into my stomach) down from 600ml a day to just 400ml, meaning I now need to eat more substantial meals by mouth. I had a pie. potatoes and spinach - it was a decent helping. I must also eat more soft snacks between meals.

As the weather is so wet, I doubt we will go far today.

Afternoon tea at Simpson's garden centre

Amandine "reading" Mr Men earlier

This afternoon our son Tim and daughter Amandine came up to see us. Tim cut the grass and afterwards we all went out to our local garden centre for afternoon tea.  My wife bought some plants afterwards.  Amandine loved her trifle and fruits. Here she is tucking into her fruit bowl.

Amandine and our son Tim

Branson's visit

Peter Branson

Today we had the pleasure of our old friends, Peter and Chris Branson who were in Burwell for the day. Chris went out with my wife Lis for lunch and Peter had lunch with me at home. A long time ago I worked with Peter and Lis has been friends with Chris since our boys were babies.

Chris Branson (nearest camera) with my wife Lis

Like all real friends, it is very easy to pick up where we last left off, almost like we'd seen them just yesterday, even though they now live 100 miles away in the Cotswolds and we've not seen them for many weeks.

Quiet again here

Grandchildren with their mum

Our "London" grandchildren,and their mum and dad have returned home, so we are quiet again here. We love having them come to stay.

Time to jam

Tomorrow we have some good old friends coming across from the Cotswolds for the day. It will be good to see them. They'd be welcome to stay the night but have to get back for a meeting Wednesday morning.