Stroke - thoughts

Maybe I am being unduly maudlin, but since my stroke almost a year ago I have thought about death a lot.

There is every chance that I will, given time, make a near full recovery. However, I have been far more aware of our short span and "dust to dust, ashes to ashes".  I have no idea if we survive death in some form or other. Maybe death is like before we were born - we know nothing about it. Maybe there is something. I'd like to believe that when I know I am about to die I shall be at  peace with the world and with myself. Hopefully this will be many years in the future. It is just that I nearly died a year ago and this colours one's views.

Death is not far from any of us. We normally prefer not to think about it and our finality.

Motorway speed limits? 70 or 80mph?

See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-15116064 .

Apparently, the government is consulting about whether or not to lift the motorway speed limit from 70 to 80mph. I am against this move. All that will happen is people will drive even faster including 40 ton lorries. Far better, in my view, that they enforced the current speed limits better. I'd be in favour of reducing the limit to 65 or 60mph , which is plenty fast enough.

Church 550 years old

Our local church has been celebrating its 550th anniversary this weekend, although parts of it go back very long time.
another 400-500 years. There has been a church on this site for a

Today they had an "open" day with exhibits, an open tower and open crypt. I was on duty guarding the chalice and other items, some of which date back to the 1500s.  Very old and still in use.

Although too wobbly to climb the tower myself, someone posted a Facebook photo showing the museum and windmill from the top of the tower today. In it, you can see our bungalow.

Stroke getting me down

My life is a continual struggle. Most of the time I am so tired it is untrue and I feel giddy when on my feet. Life is just a hazy fog.  To others I look fine, but few people, apart from the professionals, appreciate just what a daily struggle life is for me. I desperately want to be fully well again. I have now been suffering for a year. God, I want the agony of this condition to go away. I must be a pain to live with. I beg people to try to understand how I feel inside. Yes, I HATE being like this.

Pistorius not guilty

See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-29143540 . I hear Oscar Pistorius has been found not guilty of the murder charge but may yet face a custodial charge. Not being there, I am in no position to judge. I just hope the final verdict is fair to all involved. Clearly Pistorius fired the gun, but what s unclear is whether he intended to kill the occupant of the toilet where his girlfriend was. Even if he believed that an intruder was in the toilet, were 4 bullets needed?

Late swallows and house martins

Earlier this week I sat next to the Mere in Knutsford. Cheshire. Several swallows and house martins were seen. Most swifts have now gone south, but it was good to see so many swallows and house martins still around. There was even a nest with 3 young martins in at Little Morton Hall.

In past years I have seen house martins in the South Hams (Devon) as late as the end of October. One year there were still swallows near Salcombe, Devon as late as Dec 7th. Not living in the South Hams, I don't know how common this is i.e. this late. The return of house martins, swallows and swifts is something I welcome each year but sadly at this time of year we bid these migratory birds farewell before they fly thousands of hostile miles to lands with more plentiful insect food. With the Sahara getting bigger their migration routes are getting more and more hazardous. There seem fewer of these birds than there used to be, presumably as more die on migration.

Fare thee well little friends and see you again next spring when the cycle of life goes on, I pray. The return of these little fellows between early April to early May fills me with renewed hope and joy. I tend to have tears in my eyes when the swifts return. I pray I'll be around to see these return in the spring.

http://thesteepletimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Henry-Williamson-450.jpg

Since my stroke a year ago, these simple affirmations of the continuance of the cycle of life mean even more. I guess I am more aware of how finite our lives are.  Somehow I think Henry Williamson was right about the cycle of life.

Time to return home

Jodrell Bank Radio Telescope

After 3 nights in Goostrey, Cheshire, we traveled home today. We have both enjoyed the change a lot. Jodrell Bank was only about 1.5 miles from my brother-in-law's home and apparently is visible in winter when the trees have lost their leaves.

Our hosts - David and Rosemary

We used Virgin Trains Euston to Crewe and back and trains from Cambridge to Kings Cross. A word of warning: 35 minutes to get from Kings Cross to Euston by tube was cutting it fine, if you are disabled.

Breakfast time in Cheshire

Little Moreton Hall

Today we visited this National Trust home in Cheshire. I sat in the garden whilst my wife and the others went around the house. Splendid moated house little changed in hundreds of years .

Pub lunch

Having a pub lunch

It was good to go out for a pub lunch today with my wife's brother and his wife. I managed to eat chicken sandwiches and drink tomato juice. Not quite normal yet but getting there!

Train ride

Later we are traveling by train to stay with my wife's brother and his wife. Should be a nice change especially for my wife.

Strictly Come Dancing

Is this a women's show? My wife seems totally blown away by this. I enjoy watching this as a background whilst doing something else. I am afraid I just cannot get that excited by this. As a teenager I enjoyed ballroom dancing, but that was a long time ago.

Scotland independence vote

See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-29096458 .  The outcome on the vote in Scotland on independence is anyone's guess. What I do know is that the people of Scotland will find it quite hard in the years ahead. There would be many challenges, but ultimately it is their decision.

Personally I hope they vote to stay in the United Kingdom but either way won't matter too much. England and Wales would be fine whatever the outcome.

Pure commercialism

Normally I like John Lewis: their business model is that basically the staff own the shops and bonuses are based on performance and shared by all, not shareholders, but I was appalled by their latest email. Titled, "What's hot for September" it was trying to persuade me to part with my money to "go with the fashion" this season. Sorry, but I am NOT interested. I visit their Cambridge store regularly and am perfectly able to decide what to buy based on my needs. This blatant email served no purpose in this household. Sorry John Lewis 0/10.

Likewise I get ANNOYED by daily emails from Amazon these days. Sorry, these get put into "spam" immediately and are not read.

Twice daily local walks

Every day, twice a day, I do a walk "around the block". Using my smart phone this measured 366m (just under 400yards) each time. The idea is to help me with my stroke recovery and to help improve my balance. I've used no walking aids now for months. The giddiness may be slowly improving, but progress is very very slow indeed. People who see me say how well I look!

Malaysia Airlines MH370 - mystery being solved?

See http://news.yahoo.com/hard-spots-found-mh370-search-most-likely-geological-114139977.html . Although "something" has been spotted on the seabed it may NOT be plane debris according to experts.Time will tell.

In the meantime, Malaysian Airlines is flying nearly empty planes, I hear, as people seem scared to use this carrier. This is a great shame.

Will it hold? Ukraine ceasefire.

See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-29082574.

I do hope the ceasefire announced for Ukraine holds. In the west we tend to hear one side of the conflict (I recall the same during the Vietnam War) so it is hard not to think the Russians are the "bad boys". I expect the truth is slightly different, although Russia has been its own worst enemy.

Whoever is right or wrong, it is better to "jaw, jaw" rather than "war, war". The fighting ultimately achieves very little. Far better to be fair and just to everyone and seek a just peace that respects all.

ENT clinic

Today I had to go back to Addenbrooke's Hospital for an examination (by camera into my throat  though my nose!) in the Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) clinic. Thankfully it did not hurt at all - I was afraid of the procedure - and the outcome was good.  My vocal chords are working correctly and the issue with my voice, according to the consultant, is the communication between my brain and my vocal chords. With time, this should get better.

Back to school

Today was the first day back at school for one of our grandsons who is 5 years old. This picture was taken earlier today. Very smart!

A little better?

Having done the gym (Active for Life) in Newmarket, I "think" I am feeling  a little better this morning. My stamina seems a little better and just maybe the giddiness is not quite as bad. We can only hope!

Each to their own?

See http://www.neatorama.com/2014/06/22/For-Sale-Boneless-Pork-Rectums-Inverted/#!bPeVS1 .

Apparently these are considered a delicacy by some!

Walk to Dalham Church

The walk up to Dalham Church from the village

When I was well (before my stroke last September), we used to do a lovely walk of about 1 hour around the village of Dalham. Today we did a walk from the village of Dalham up the hill to Dalham Church, through the long avenue of horse chestnut trees. The walk today was about 1.6km in total. Totally delightful. Dalham village is full of "chocolate box" cottages.

British Ebola patient recovering

See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-29045908 . The British patient who contracted Ebola in West Africa is recovering having been treated with the experimental zmapp treatment. He is no longer infectious and has been discharged from the UK hospital where he was treated in isolation.

Fatigue

As a result of my brain bleed nearly a year ago, I still get incredibly tired very easily if I do any physical work. This morning I vacuumed a couple of rooms and swept the kitchen floor and I was totally exhausted. People tell me this fatigue will, eventually, get better. I feel so hopeless and useless at times like this.

See http://www.stroke.org.uk/sites/default/files/Fatigue%20after%20stroke.pdf .

Boys at Whitstable, Kent

Tim. Jo and their children are having a night in Whitstable and this is a photo of our two grandsons taken when they met up with Lauren and children (our son Chris is in school today) this afternoon.

Thames Estuary airport?

 See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-29026484 .

For the moment, they seem to be rejecting plans for an "all new" London airport in the Thames estuary as Boris Johnson would like. It would certainly ruin bird life in the area.

The argument is that in the future existing airports,even with more runways, will not be big enough. Is that true? The arguments for a "Hong Kong" like solution for the longer term makes some sense. I doubt politicians are brave enough to make such long-term decisions. The environmental lobby will be against a new airport: in the end there may be no choice. Heathrow is a daft airport with poor access and facilities. If starting today, you would not build an airport there.

Lunch out

Lunch with Paul and Samara

For the first time in over a year (because of my brain bleed illness) we went out to friends today for lunch. Samara and Paul are lovely, kind people. They provided a great fish pie, green beans,  apple crumble and coffee, all of which I was able to eat and drink. For once, I was again able to be normal and do everyday things. Long may it continue.

BBQ

Our next door neighbours held a BBQ today starting at 12.30pm. We stayed until about 3pm. It was a lovely event and we got shown around their recently renovated, and greatly extended, bungalow. They have a huge garden which includes an orchard with plums and apples.

Iceland volcanoes

See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-29003031 .

It is now 3 years ago that we visited Iceland. It was a very lovely country and much greener than we expected with lupins in bloom all over the place. Volcanic activity is a constant threat and nearly wiped out the country a few centuries back. Today the threat is just as great, but now the implications for air travel could be substantial right across Europe. A big eruption could also result in severe winters and summers in Europe.

Grandchildren - all four

Last Tuesday we had all the grandchildren together and I took this photo of them all outside our local windmill.

It is incredibly hard to get them to sit still for a photo and this was about the best I could manage! Little Lucinda was just about to run out of shot!

They range in age from 2 to nearly 7 years old (left to right) .

Listening to the church bells

Since he was very little, our elder grandson (now 6.75yrs) has been fascinated by church bells.   Last Sunday morning he and his little sister (3.5yrs) were staying with us on their own. We discovered them next to the open garden door sitting on a couple of chairs listening to the church bells.

Cambridge United and Plymouth Argyle football teams

Although not a great football (soccer) fan, I  watch the League Division 2 tables avidly to see how these two teams are doing.  Plymouth Argyle had a decent season last year and Cambridge United have just been promoted back into the league after being out for several years. One is a Devon team and Cambridge is our local team.

Stroke frustration

By now, I was expecting to be just about back to the state I was in before my brain bleed. Instead, I am still far from right. Walking is OK, but I get very giddy when on my feet and moving, and drinks are still problematic.

On the positive side, food is generally going down well (by mouth) and I am NOT giddy seated. I feel that driving the car should be fine. I still feel slightly sick all the time and I tire very very quickly doing the least physical thing. Today I cleaned the car externally, checked tyre pressures, oil and window wash. I was very tired at the end, but I guess several months ago this would have been totally impossible.

People tell me the fatigue will eventually get better. Let's hope all the other negative things improve in the coming months. I just want to be fit again. At one time I was 13st 3lb. Currently I am 10st 11lb, but was just 10st 7lb in hospital. I'd like to get back over 11st soon.

Brain tumour boy

See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-28993791 .

As someone with experience of brain injury, I do hope they find this little boy very soon before his feed batteries run out.  He is probably being fed by liquid feed into his tummy and the pump, if similar to the one I had, is usually mains powered but it has batteries that last maybe 24 hours.

UPDATE 1334z: It may be the family is in Marbella, Spain.  I also read that they expect the tumour to regrow and it may then be inoperable. He may only have a few months to live. What a tragedy for all involved.

UPDATE 2125z:   The little boy has been found in Spain.

Terrorist threat level raised a notch

See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28986271 . The terrorist threat from those returning from fighting in Syria and Iraq has been raised today.

I hope that those radicalised realise that most UK people want a just peace in the Middle East so people of all faiths can live peaceably in mutual respect of each other.